The 50+ Reboot
When I first started my business, my goal was, um…lofty. I saw an under-the-radar epidemic unfolding all around me and I was sure I had a solution.
What I was increasingly seeing was women, many of them educated, experienced and skilled, aging out of the workforce and sinking gradually but gracefully into poverty like some older, slow-motion Ophelia.
This is neither just anecdotal nor purely personal observation. The fact is that in every society on earth, older women make up the largest single demographic of the poor — retirees, seniors and elderly women, particularly those without a male partner. Sadly, those jokes referencing the old lady subsisting on cat food did not spring from nowhere.
In every society on earth, older women make up the largest single demographic of the poor
Often, this is a genteel version that doesn’t bear the obvious hallmarks of poverty. The woman may have accumulated worldly goods in a more abundant time, things not generally owned by the impoverished. That she now has to make financial decisions about rent versus nutrition versus medications belies outward appearances.
We Can Fix This
I was now at an age where I was seeing what was previously invisible to me and I was outraged. How can this be happening on this scale and there not be a huge public outcry? And what is the solution?
Having over a decade of experience designing and developing online courses and online business, I saw this solution as a potential leveler of the playing field.
As a engineer prior to that, I saw the equation in almost mathematical clarity:
(Her Skills + Her Market + Online Tools) x Some Tech/Biz Coaching = Financial Solution
Simple. My assumption was that the only hurdles would be learning the tech-ropes and maybe finding the best way to package their brilliance. I knew I could easily walk them through that. We would create an independent income source for them that they could take into their future and avert this seemingly inevitable financial fate.
This wasn’t a simple algebraic equation; this shit was advanced calculus.
I cannot believe how badly I under-estimated the complexity of the situation. This wasn’t a simple algebraic equation; this shit was advanced calculus.
The Complexities of 50+ & Female
In my business I was meeting women, 50+ — women with great stuff to offer— who knew they needed to make a move, to make a change, but who were hobbled by what would eventually reveal itself to be fear and self-doubt. Often accompanying this was a state that I came to understand as emotional exhaustion from long decades of going full-tilt, being the rock for so many other people, and taking care of everyone else. Having given so much for so long they arrived at this new time of life with little left to give themselves. They found themselves not really knowing who they were anymore, if they had anything left in them or whether there was any sense in them making an effort to go forward.
The alternatives to taking action were retiring into reduced means or not retiring because they couldn’t afford to and somehow these were appearing to be the most realistic options?
Some women were so overwhelmed at the enormity of what they felt they would have to overcome, they just folded before they even got started. Working with women that did choose to go forward, I was shocked at the number of times I had to spontaneously shift the agenda of our work-sessions to support them through a tearful, doubt-ridden meltdown.
The feedback that I got after working together, more often than not, was about the value of the emotional support, the mentorship and the personal coaching they received. This was a shock to me; this was not what I set out to supply or what they hired me to do, but it was so obviously required.
WTF is Going On?
Being 50+ myself, I was equally fascinated and freaked out by this seemingly pervasive phenomena in my demographic. Far too many women with so much to offer were faltering in the fourth quarter. Where did their fire go?
In a flash of inspiration, I decided I would hold a women’s retreat here in Puerto Vallarta, after the positive impact I’d experienced spending a winter working from Mexico. It would be a ‘reset’ retreat for women 50+ — a reboot to just shake it up, shake it off and get back to themselves. My vision was that this would be like a ‘factory reset’ where they could re-find their old fire.
The Reboot
While one week in beautiful Puerto Vallarta laughing, playing, connecting and learning from each other was is not enough to erase a life-time of whatever brings us to that place where our energy and self-belief is running so low, but it was an amazing reset. We created a regenerative space and we created tribe.
For most of us, it budged the needle in the right direction. We are all still works-in-progress but now with a network of mutual care and understanding — like our own built-in cheering squad.
The months of prep and community-building running up to the retreat and the amazing six days themselves taught me so much.
I recognized that before we can start running with the next phase of our life — be it building a business or otherwise - we need to shake off the dust of the journey so far. We need to get back up on our feet and get stabilized in this new, unfamiliar 50+ incarnation.
I realized that we need a space and time where the main focus is on us and what it is we want to make of the rest of our lives.
I recognized that far too many women do not make it this far unscathed and in a condition that allows them to powerfully and confidently move forward into their post-50 life.
And I realized that THIS was important work. The joy and amazement I experienced seeing the impact and transformation these six day reboot was huge! And to be part of the overwhelming energy in a group of women shaking off a couple decades of whatever life had piled on them and getting back to the bad-ass women they really were? One of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
I now understand that this work is just as important as helping women salvage their financial future. That can come later; first you have to salvage the spirit.
